Letter to Fudge
by Tzimiscar
Summary: This is a simple letter of advice from an old and ancient house to the minister. Fudge got quite a few of those letters with friendly advice and gallons- He might not have noticed the black family crest, and even if he had - How much trouble could a simple letter may be? Oneshot


„Dear Minister Fudge,

First let me correct the misconception I was running from your tiny Auror force or the laughable wizard patrol. I could win against most of your so called 'hunter' groups WITHOUT a ward. They are a disgrace to any warrior. Lack in training, equipment, power, skill and too many other things to list – you really think ANY Black would fear these? I travel the world, fight the occasional monster and fear the occasional enraged husband more than any of these jokers. Now a witch scorned, THAT is something to fear, I could tell you stories.

You get what you pay for, and that is not much according to your budget reports. It even seems like you had reduced their budget considerably… ah pardon, not the last year, an increase of a full thousand gallons. That is less than the amount given to your 'charity fond' per month, even if you discount Malfoy.

The stories your prophet tells about Dumbledore amuse me, as did that you botched the tournament so spectacularly. This and your lovely mistress are the reason you are still breathing. It would have been unfair to burn you in your own house while she's in there too.

Getting out of something is more difficult than getting into things. I got out of Askaban. I got out without help, without a ward, without artifacts, without house magic, more dead than alive, against dozens of guards, the wards, the dementors and unspeakable horrors in the sea surrounding Askaban. Now I got allies, a ward, all the artifacts of house Black, and according to the last mediwitch that checked am very much alive. There is not a single place in Britain I can't get in as this letter proves.

Maybe you missed it - our talk was rather short after all - but I and Lord Harry James Potter are at peace. We made a truce that started when YOUR dementors interfered in OUR duel and will last until our scions are in Hogwarts. Personally I was quite happy concentrating on finding a suitable bribe to continue the Black line, a most serious endeavor which takes all my time. From the things I read Harry seems a bit hesitant, but I'm positive this task soon will be on his mind.

I did not like that you allowed the last Potter to join a deadly tournament. You even spread the rumor I had a hand in this. You WOULD realize my hand in this, for example I would have tested the stands of the judges on resistance against find fire. I can understand you need a scapegoat but I was on a lovely beach at that time. The only dragon I worried about was a Chinese witch who saw me with someone else.

Now with your latest joke, this kangaroo court you set me off. I finally saw the pattern. First in the Hogwarts express, then on the quidditch-pitch, then our duel and now again, dementor attacks against Lord Potter. I know I am not the responsible one for that. I probably am the being that hates those wretched creatures the most. Allegedly the ministry controls them. We both know this is not quite true.

The tournament, those dementors, the ministry is trying to kill the boy who lived. More, the ministry under minister Fudge is trying to eradicate the noble house of Potter. YOU are trying to kill Lord Potter. Of course no lawyer would ever defend such a hopeless case, nor the wizmaggot be enraged nor will the press rip you apart.

Be glad the only thing I gave the prophet is the name of your mistress; you might even survive that scandal. Love potions are not illegal, just looked down upon, and as much as these hypocrite love to blame the injustice of it all, they soon will move on.

Injustice what a nice word, can you imagine what would happen if I pressed my case? Never convicted before a court, last of house Black, I just have to go to a lawyer. An alleged mass-murder free because of a technicality, and guess who is responsible.

Yes of course, Wulfric Dumbledore but you'll have a hard time getting that old fox with ANYTHING. That wolf in sheep's clothing that ignores the safety of Hogwarts in favor of his schemes. Harry truly believes in my innocence. To be frank with all the mind rape Dumbledore does on a regular basis, I am not too sure. It is possible, a lot more probable than that Dumbledore did NOT use his mind tricks on you, minister. In any case I am not NICE, as you can see on my auror-records. You know, the kill and arrest things we have from the war.

Sooner or later you will OFFICIALY recognise my status as Lord Black, just as house magic already claims. Since that status is of little use on the beach I currently occupy while said house magic forces you to read this letter you have some time to come up with a scheme – by the 'truly innocent' route or the 'last of a noble Line' ploy. However the current kangaroo-court should better not judge Lord Potter guilty.

Not because of me, but I heard a high ranking French diplomat speak of Harry. Seems he impressed someone there, and you wouldn't want to be responsible for the boy who lived changing nationality to French. It would be amusing, yet if we ever resumed our fight it might restart the ancient hate between these nations. Of course you should rather worry about the lynch mob.

Best regards,

Lord Sirius Orion Black of the noble and ancient house of Black

P.S. : Wonder why no one mentions the horrors in the dark sea. THEY are the true guards; horrors that haunt my nightmares … ah right the insanity that befalls those of weak mind like you.

P.p. S. : Which family has the most dark artifacts and spells in Britain?


End file.
